The guy in the pizza truck had left her with more sorrow than she could ever imagine. That’s when Laffrey faced the stunning realization that her one-night stand was the source. Her baby’s father tested negative for HIV. Whether from HIV or taking my own life, I didn’t want to face disappointing my parents or being associated with the stigma.” In that moment at the doctor’s office, I had started planning my funeral. “I was worried about my daughter, no one ever loving me, never getting married, and all my dreams being pointless. “I felt like I failed at life, was going to die, and there was no turning back,” remembers Kamaria. After all, she’d only had unprotected sex with two people in her life: the guy she met two years prior in college and the father of her child. But Laffrey never expected to get this result. It’s routine practice for doctors to give mothers-to-be a test for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). They sat her down and revealed that she was HIV-positive. Then, a few days after giving birth, her doctor called her back in to the office. The study also included the influence of alcohol on decision-making.īut back to Laffrey: Two years after her one-night stand, she met a great guy and fell in love. In a study on condom use and heavy drinking among college students, 64 percent of participants reported they didn’t always use a condom during sex. It should come as no great surprise that lack of condom use and drinking are both common occurrences among college youth. Up to this point, Laffrey’s story is far from unique.
As the night dwindled down, they went back to his place and, as the saying goes, one thing led to another. That night, Laffrey and her new friend party-hopped, going to different houses to hang out and drink. “This strange sense came over me and I knew I had time to run back to my room and forget the whole thing. “I remember standing outside to wait for him … I noticed a pizza delivery truck across the road with its headlights on … that vehicle sat there and sat there,” she remembers. An hour later, she was outside waiting for him to pick her up. Excited about his call, Laffrey didn’t require much for him to sell himself. He was a guy she had met at a party the previous week. One night, after her roommate left to hang out with a guy, Laffrey decided that she, too, should have some fun. It had an effect on her forever.ĭuring her college years, Laffrey recalls having attractive friends, but always feeling slightly out of place. For many women, the consequences of a one-night stand can sometimes lead to guilt, embarrassment, and even shame.īut for Laffrey, a one-night stand changed much more in her life than her emotions. And since it's often hard to be sure, especially if you don't know someone very well, remember that using a condom can greatly reduce the risk of spreading or getting HIV and other diseases, can prevent unintended pregnancy and can be a good way to show that you care about your partner.While sexual attitudes have changed a lot over the past few decades, there are still plenty of expectations, disappointments, and emotions that go along with sex, especially when it comes to the casual one-night stand.
After all, she may have the same thoughts or concerns about whether YOU have HIV, but also might not bring up the subject. Of course, there is no risk of getting HIV from a woman unless she has HIV, so it's good to talk about this with any potential sex partner. It is very low if the woman is taking effective HIV medications and/or if you are taking PrEP (a daily pill to prevent HIV). This risk may be higher depending on certain factors, such as whether the woman is having her period or whether the man is uncircumcised, and it also may be higher in poor countries. In general, the risk of a man getting HIV from an HIV-positive woman during vaginal intercourse in the United States is low-probably less than 1 of 1,000 exposures will result in actual infection. Q: What are the chances of a man being infected after condomless sex with a woman who has HIV?
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